“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
― Rose Kennedy.JPG)
But there is good news here - not just another dissertation from me on how much I miss Eddie. Over the last 3 to 4 weeks, I have been happier than I've been in years. I wish I could say it was because I had met a fantastic, funny, smart man who happens to own a motorcycle and loves to travel - but no. Those are harder to come by than winning lottery tickets.
No, my source of happiness has been in the form of a new job. I work in a field that is very hard to explain to anyone who doesn't work in it so I'll spare you the boring details. Suffice it to say that trying to protect your (yes, you) personal information from either bad or stupid people can be extremely stressful. It can also be a lot of fun. But over the last few years with my previous employer it had become downright unhealthy. Very little of that had to do with the job itself. Mergers and acquisitions are not for sissies. It is a tough world out there and sometimes you have to know when it is time to pack up your box of toys and leave. (Although, I didn't pack up my toys. I sold them to my co-workers and made almost $800 for Eddie's Road!)
Of course, making the decision to start over somewhere else after 12 years was not easy. Besides, who would want to hire a 56 year old woman whose days in the technical trenches were behind her? Well, as I found out - lots of people. I actually have marketable skills. Who knew? So, after a very short job search, a very fast offer came from one of the leading technology companies in the world.
More money, work from home and here was the best part.... very little stress. And the stress left me the moment I handed in my resignation. I kept thinking I should be sad about leaving the place where I had spent so much of my life. And I was sad about leaving some of the people. But not for one minute did I regret or rethink my decision to leave. There were two times that I felt truly appreciated there by my bosses, the day I was hired and the day I resigned. They will survive just fine without me and I will be just fine too.
So what does all this have to do with Rose Kennedy's observation about grief and pain?
Life does go on after the ones we love leave this world. But the departed remain the same. They are always exactly as we remember them. Never aging, never changing. And our feelings for them remain the same too. I used to think I would never move forward. But clearly, I am. Whether I've been even conscious of it or not. The pain is no less, the memories are just as vivid. And yet, life goes on.
I read something the other day about dying in three stages. "The first when the body ceases to function and the second is when the body is put in the grave. The third is that moment sometime in the future when your name is spoken for the last time."
Since the journey of Eddie's ashes continues, the second stage is still carrying on. And the third will not come for a very long time.
Eddie's latest journey took him to Iceland of all places. He was taken there along with Curt Gran by a group of our long distance riding friends. Bill Watt was planning on doing the honors of spreading Eddie but when he became ill, the task was taken over by Chris McGaffin of Ireland and the organizer of the Saddlesore 1000 this group had traveled to Iceland to complete. (1000 miles in 24 hours on a motorcycle, circumventing the island of Iceland.)
The weather was cold, windy and rainy. I guess I would expect that in a place called Iceland. These are a tough bunch of riders so it was pretty standard stuff for most of them. Congratulations on a successful ride.
Bill & Chris chose Godafoss Falls (spelled in English as I don't think I can type the weird characters in the correct spelling) to leave Eddie & Curt.
Here's to their journey:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdBqqu6zODQ
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