Or "In Between".
I'm not sure if it's the isolation that comes from working 25 feet from my bedroom with only the company of my 4-legged family or simply the natural progression of the grieving process but I've decided I'm sick of purgatory.
My life with Eddie was heaven. His death was hell. And over the last year or so, I've been hanging out in Purgatory.
I've been kinda sittin' around waiting. Waiting for whatever comes next. Waiting for something to happen.
Just waiting.
I haven't been completely idle. I've traveled a bit. Started working out with a trainer. Lost some weight. Got a new job.
All while waiting.
I have no idea what I'm waiting for. But my instincts, which are rarely wrong, tell me there is something else in store.
Last night I was sitting on my deck... alone, enjoying the unusually cool, dry night. I stared at the sky and the trees and it occurred to me that this is what purgatory must be like.
It isn't unpleasant. It isn't necessarily sad or depressing. It isn't hellish. It is a comfortable place in which to wait.
But how long must I stay here? Do I get to leave whenever I'm ready or is it like Hotel California?
The reality is that it is lonely in Purgatory. See, they don't tell you that part.
You are in it all by yourself. Waiting for something or someone to tell you it is ok to move to the next level.
To whatever comes next....
I'm not sure if it's the isolation that comes from working 25 feet from my bedroom with only the company of my 4-legged family or simply the natural progression of the grieving process but I've decided I'm sick of purgatory.
My life with Eddie was heaven. His death was hell. And over the last year or so, I've been hanging out in Purgatory.
I've been kinda sittin' around waiting. Waiting for whatever comes next. Waiting for something to happen.
Just waiting.
I haven't been completely idle. I've traveled a bit. Started working out with a trainer. Lost some weight. Got a new job.
All while waiting.
I have no idea what I'm waiting for. But my instincts, which are rarely wrong, tell me there is something else in store.
Last night I was sitting on my deck... alone, enjoying the unusually cool, dry night. I stared at the sky and the trees and it occurred to me that this is what purgatory must be like.
It isn't unpleasant. It isn't necessarily sad or depressing. It isn't hellish. It is a comfortable place in which to wait.
But how long must I stay here? Do I get to leave whenever I'm ready or is it like Hotel California?
The reality is that it is lonely in Purgatory. See, they don't tell you that part.
You are in it all by yourself. Waiting for something or someone to tell you it is ok to move to the next level.
To whatever comes next....
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