A Christmas Story

I grew up in a large, military family. My parents were really wonderful people. The holidays were always filled with decorating, parties, lots of people, Christmas lists, and finally the Big Day. Waking up really early and running into the living room to find our presents in nice, neat piles - as if on display. A stack for each child - never wrapped because "Santa didn't have time to wrap".

Christmas was all about tradition. We used the same decorations each year. The same things were always in our stockings (fruit, nuts, Hersey's miniatures and Juicy Fruit gum). Ok, so Mom wasn't that imaginative but it was a different time and most of my friends got pretty much the same stuff.

We had one tradition in our home that we could have done without. "The Putting Up The Christmas Tree Tantrum" that my father seemed to throw almost every year. My father was my hero growing up. He was a great dad - hilarious, truly the smartest man ever, loving, and always present. But he wasn't always the most patient person and Christmas seemed to try his patience more than most things.

Especially putting up the tree. Trimming it, getting it in the house, getting it in the stand, getting it straight, trimming it again, repeat, repeat and then put the G-D lights on it without each strand blowing a fuse. This process almost always ended with a good bit of cussing and Daddy storming into his bedroom and slamming the door.

As an adult I attempted to avoid "The Putting Up The Christmas Tree Tantrum" so I made the move to an artificial tree that I could put up all by myself. I assumed that all men suffered from this ailment and figured we could just make it easier on all of us. I guess after many years I had forgotten about "The Putting Up The Christmas Tree Tantrum" and decided that I really wanted a real tree. My ex put my father to shame with his rendition of "The Putting Up The Christmas Tree Tantrum" and so the next year, we went back to faking it.

But all of the other traditions continued and like a lot of women, I really put a lot of stock in making sure the holidays were really, really special. I decorated, baked until my feet hurt from standing in the kitchen, had parties, went to parties, sent cards, shopped and spent. And I stressed. I stressed about all of it. Especially the part about where we would be on Christmas Day and who all was going to be there. And then I would stress about the people who WEREN'T going to be there.

And then I met Eddie and everything about Christmas changed.

Eddie wasn't a traditionalist. Many of his adult Christmas' were spent riding his motorcycle somewhere... alone. And he was fine with that.

And so, as we approached our first Christmas together as a couple, he suggested we go on our first long distance motorcycle trip together.

But what about the decorating and the gifts and the parties and the cards? What about my family? We have to be with my family on Christmas, right?

"What if we do all of it?" A typical Eddie approach. And he wanted to start with the tree. I told him about "The Putting Up The Christmas Tree Tantrum". I explained that I didn't want to stress him out about the tree so we'd fake it.

"Do you prefer a real tree?", he asked.
"Of course. The smell is wonderful but it is too much trouble", was my answer.

"Leave it to me."

We went down to Big John's tree lot near our house and I picked the tree. He loaded it.

We got home. With a couple of simple instructions to me, he managed to get the tree in the stand, in the house and standing straight in less than 10 minutes. Lights? No problem. We had them on in another 20-30. And then he sat and watched as I carefully unwrapped each of my treasured ornaments and placed each one in the perfect spot on our real tree.

He listened intently while I told a story about almost everyone. And he was delighted. After it was done, he proclaimed it the most beautiful tree he had ever seen and we sat in the dark and stared at the lights. The cats loved it too!

The weekend before Christmas we hosted my family for dinner and he insisted on getting a chocolate fountain for the little kids. They couldn't have had more fun playing with the fountain, and being chased around the house by the "Monster".





On Christmas morning he and I left Atlanta on our first long distance motorcycle trip together. We spent Christmas night in a cheap motel in Thomasville, GA. It was the best Christmas Day I had ever had.

And a whole set of new traditions were born - a real tree with no tantrums, a celebration with my family before the holiday and a motorcycle trip. Our goal was to spend Christmas night in a different state every year.

So, for all of you out there who are stressed out and worrying about every little holiday detail, here is some advice from a recovering Christmas Control Freak. Open your mind to new ways to celebrate. Don't fret over who is going where and who is getting this or that as a gift. Make the holidays something new and different. Making new memories is so much more fun than reliving the same ones over and over again.

Merry Christmas.