Happy Birthday

My birthday is January 3rd. I have no recollection of my birthday in 2010. Seriously. I have no idea how that day came and went. None. I suspect I was still in a daze wondering how my world had suddenly stopped just when I was the happiest I had ever been.

This year, 2011, I spent the day in the most unlikely place. Which is perfect, really. I learned from Eddie. Go with it. Enjoy the moment.

I spent the day in Cajun country - in and around Lafayette, Louisiana. I visited the Tabasco sauce factory on Avery Island, LA (what a great bonus!). I ate wonderful fried catfish and heard great Zydeco music at Mulate's in Breaux Bridge.

Tonight, I celebrated my birthday with friends that run the spectrum of my life. Some that I have known and loved since high school. Others I have bonded with over work - current and twice removed. And, of course, my special sisters, who are by my side through everything that can possibly happen in our lifetimes.

I know that in many ways I am a very lucky woman. I have a close circle of friends and family who are there no matter what happens. I am able to travel and experience so many wonderful places and cultures (and crawfish!). I have a career that pays me a good salary and challenges me daily.

So... for the record - I know that I am fortunate.

But there is not one single second that goes by that I don't think about Eddie and how much I miss him. This birthday is only different in that I can actually remember how I spent it. Other than that - I miss him just as much. I am just as sad. I am just as angry.

I am just as lost.