Leaving Niobrara

While we were in the negotiation stage of buying The Two Rivers, we kept everything very low-key. We didn't think we should talk about it to too many people. Eddie would be leaving his job at Ride For Kids but if the offer fell through... well, then he wouldn't.

In typical Eddie fashion, he told me that once the purchase was final, he didn't want to tell anyone else about our new business. It was typical in that, it made me do the "dog stare" - head cocked to the side and a look of bewilderment on my face. It happened a lot between us.

"Why can't we tell anyone?"

And in typical Eddie fashion there was a long explanation.

"If for some reason I fail at this, I don't want a lot of people to know about it." Yes, Eddie could be a bit insecure.

But his second reason was a lot more understandable. "Think of how much fun it will be when riders stop in and I'm the one standing behind the bar pouring their Fat Tire." Followed by the mischievous grin, the giggle and the laughing eyes.

And so we kept it a secret. We never lied to anyone - we just didn't publicize it to friends, co-workers and acquaintances. My family and most of my close friends knew and a few of Eddie's friends but for the most part it was all on the low-down.

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When the door closed behind the two men, Eddie & I just stared at each other and said nothing.

"Let's get out of here and go for a ride", he said. This usually meant getting on a motorcycle but unfortunately he meant the truck.

We headed over to Springfield to see Dennis. During the 14 mile trip we talked about our visitors. Eddie was trying to act like it was no big deal and I know he suggested the ride in an effort to distract me.

It wasn't working. As most of you know he thought my "southern-ness" was quite entertaining. He loved to call me his "Fretful Southern Woman". Well, the FSW was frettin' up a storm.

We visited with Dennis for a while and made it back to The Two Rivers at about 3am. We should have been exhausted but neither of us could go to sleep. As we laid in bed we made some big decisions.

Eddie was physically and mentally exhausted. Over three months of working 7 days a week for 16 hours a days wasn't working. Eddie had thought the long hours would be ok for him. He was used to crazy hours and little sleep. He had lived his whole motorcycling life that way.

We knew this would be hard work but neither of us really comprehended the stress we would be under. When people walk into your establishment looking for a good meal, you have to deliver. We both suffered from slight perfectionism so doing it half-ass just wasn't an option.

My job options were not working out. The condo wasn't selling. It appeared that our dream of us finding a home in Niobrara and spending the majority of our time at the same address wasn't going to happen anytime soon. We missed each other.

"I am so scared you'll think I'm a failure", he whispered.

"That will never happen. There is nothing you could ever do that would make me think that."

"I just want to come home."

I knew what he meant. "Well, then let's figure out how to get you back home."

The next day we started to undo everything we had been doing for the last 4 months. Our lawyer had it all worked out within a few weeks.

The hardest part, of course, was the people. We had a good crew. And we had made some friends. We knew it would impact other people's lives. It was a horrible feeling but, by then, we knew it was what we had to do.

We weren't leaving because we didn't like Niobrara or the people there. We weren't leaving because of threats from some thugs.

We were leaving because we knew that we couldn't commit to it. Later when discussing it, we both agreed that if we had been much younger, without the commitments to job, house and even each other - it might have been different. But we weren't younger and we did have all those factors that pushed us to leave.

There are very good memories of those months. We learned a lot about ourselves and each other. It brought us even closer together, which I didn't think was possible.

We wondered if we could ever go back to Niobrara. Under the circumstances we would understand if people were angry with us. We left without a word for reasons that made perfect sense at the time - and still do.

Luckily, two people weren't angry with us. I recieved this message from our friend, Kim Swanson:

July 2, 2010
Niobrara, Nebraska

"Arlene had a few of Eddies ashes. We put them in the highway in Niobrara. The highway has been dug up and is being relayed. He will forever be a part of the road through Niobrara!"

Eddie was right back where he started on that rainy night all those years ago.