This blog started as a road map to all the places where Eddie's ashes have been scattered. He's still not everywhere yet. For those involved in this project, I thank you. For those who haven't finished the project - take your time. The Rapture either didn't happen or there was no one worthy of the trip to paradise so it appears we have time to wrap this up at our leisure.
I am not through with my portion of this project. There are still at least three places where I want to take him. But I figured it might take me a few "chapters" to tell the stories of where I have left my soul mate so I should probably get on with it.
__________________________
It is difficult for me to share the most intimate details of our relationship. I think that is a good thing. Some details are sacred and should be left private. But, occasionally the story just doesn't work without the details - so I guess I should start at the beginning and with Eddie's own words.
He was a romantic. Much more so than me. Other men had made the attempt at appearing romantic but with Eddie it was no act. His sincerity was absolute. I never doubted that he meant every word that came out of his mouth. Or his keyboard (some editing had to be done - I'm just not equipped to share everything):
26 June 2006
Hello Ms. Lisa,
If you're reading this, it means that something big is happening between us -- and as I sit here today, I can only hope that the scenario is a good one.
I have just left your house after spending the weekend with you............... The power failure. Dinner after midnight. Wonderful.
I know that things in a relationship are to be taken slowly.
I know that things should be allowed to run their course naturally.
I have every intention of doing this with you, but as I sit here today, the feelings I already have for you are so big, so powerful, so strong that I am feeling nearly overwhelmed. Drowning as it were, in a sea of bliss.
I am a pragmatic man.
I see things, I analyze them. I try to draw rational conclusions by combining what I see, know, hear and sense, and set the best course of action from there.
I am having the hardest time with this, for you see, I believe I am already falling in love with you. I can't explain it. I don't know why my feelings are not following any "traditional" time lines. There are just so many things that are all coming together at once in this scenario between you and me that have me truly amazed. I never foresaw a relationship like this -- I wasn't looking for it, and certainly didn't expect it. I am a skeptic. A cynic. I laugh at those who traipse through life with comments of "soul mates" and "immediate bonds" with others. And yet I am now finding myself absolutely in an unspeakably euphoric state over a wonderful woman that I have known but a few weeks.
The comfort (your word...remember?) I find with you, the openness we share, the ease with which I share my most intimate, not-told-to-anyone life details leaves me at once scared and nervous, yet at the same time, I feel good about this. I sincerely believe that you would not use anything of our shared talks to harm me. You were right last night---it's because I trust you. I know that you are already feeling something between us. I hear it in your voice, I see it in your eyes. I know it from the things you do and say. Of all those I have known in my life, nothing has ever come up on me so hard, so fast, so thoroughly, so wonderfully.
I've always gone through life with this running belief in the back of my mind that the "right" person for me was out there. The right person to be myself with, to grow with , to build things with -- in short, to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't know who they were, or what they would be like-- I just simply believed that I'd know it when I found it. At long last, I'm certain that I've found this person--- or, in a typical-for-me-twist, this person has actually found me.
Y'know, Ms. Lisa, in case I never work up the nerve to tell you this, I'm pretty certain I'm already in love with you. I've never been a believer in the "love at first sight" claim of so many, but I simply cannot conjure up any more accurate description of this thing between us. I just wanted to write it down now, so if I never experience anything this euphoric again I'll at least have some point of reference to revisit as a reminder. Whatever the future holds for you and me, I can already see that this is likely to be one of the most cherished periods I've ever known.
If you're reading this, I hope it's because our lives are joining and going forward and I've simply shared this with you as an early chapter in our history. If you're seeing this as some last-ditch attempt of mine to repair some failure in our interaction and demonstrate the sincerity and longevity of my feelings, please believe me that these feelings could not be stronger, and that I sincerely want for us to be together. If you'll recall, I had remarked to you over the past weekend that I'd only felt an initial feeling this strongly about one other person --- and that relationship ultimately left me broken hearted. The thought of experiencing that with you is rather unbearable...
yours, (and I think you already sense it),
Eddie
_______________
Eddie wrote this letter to me, sealed it in an envelope and mailed it to himself (so there would be a postmark to prove when it was sent). It remained unopened for many months. He finally gave it to me and told me to open it whenever I was feeling uncertain about him, his feelings or our relationship.
Of course, I opened it immediately - right in front of him. I never regretted that impulsive moment.
Not long after sharing this letter with me, we traveled to Minneapolis for the first time together. We celebrated Thanksgiving with people that Eddie loved.
It was during that visit that he took me on a walk around Lake Harriett. He stopped at a bridge with a lovely view of the skyline, took both of my hands, looked deeply into my eyes and told me that he was planning to marry me.
He didn't propose to me. He simply wanted me to know what his plan was.
Rider #666
June 18, 2010
9:42 AM
Lake Harriet, Minneapolis, MN
I am not through with my portion of this project. There are still at least three places where I want to take him. But I figured it might take me a few "chapters" to tell the stories of where I have left my soul mate so I should probably get on with it.
__________________________
It is difficult for me to share the most intimate details of our relationship. I think that is a good thing. Some details are sacred and should be left private. But, occasionally the story just doesn't work without the details - so I guess I should start at the beginning and with Eddie's own words.
He was a romantic. Much more so than me. Other men had made the attempt at appearing romantic but with Eddie it was no act. His sincerity was absolute. I never doubted that he meant every word that came out of his mouth. Or his keyboard (some editing had to be done - I'm just not equipped to share everything):
26 June 2006
Hello Ms. Lisa,
If you're reading this, it means that something big is happening between us -- and as I sit here today, I can only hope that the scenario is a good one.
I have just left your house after spending the weekend with you............... The power failure. Dinner after midnight. Wonderful.
I know that things in a relationship are to be taken slowly.
I know that things should be allowed to run their course naturally.
I have every intention of doing this with you, but as I sit here today, the feelings I already have for you are so big, so powerful, so strong that I am feeling nearly overwhelmed. Drowning as it were, in a sea of bliss.
I am a pragmatic man.
I see things, I analyze them. I try to draw rational conclusions by combining what I see, know, hear and sense, and set the best course of action from there.
I am having the hardest time with this, for you see, I believe I am already falling in love with you. I can't explain it. I don't know why my feelings are not following any "traditional" time lines. There are just so many things that are all coming together at once in this scenario between you and me that have me truly amazed. I never foresaw a relationship like this -- I wasn't looking for it, and certainly didn't expect it. I am a skeptic. A cynic. I laugh at those who traipse through life with comments of "soul mates" and "immediate bonds" with others. And yet I am now finding myself absolutely in an unspeakably euphoric state over a wonderful woman that I have known but a few weeks.
The comfort (your word...remember?) I find with you, the openness we share, the ease with which I share my most intimate, not-told-to-anyone life details leaves me at once scared and nervous, yet at the same time, I feel good about this. I sincerely believe that you would not use anything of our shared talks to harm me. You were right last night---it's because I trust you. I know that you are already feeling something between us. I hear it in your voice, I see it in your eyes. I know it from the things you do and say. Of all those I have known in my life, nothing has ever come up on me so hard, so fast, so thoroughly, so wonderfully.
I've always gone through life with this running belief in the back of my mind that the "right" person for me was out there. The right person to be myself with, to grow with , to build things with -- in short, to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't know who they were, or what they would be like-- I just simply believed that I'd know it when I found it. At long last, I'm certain that I've found this person--- or, in a typical-for-me-twist, this person has actually found me.
Y'know, Ms. Lisa, in case I never work up the nerve to tell you this, I'm pretty certain I'm already in love with you. I've never been a believer in the "love at first sight" claim of so many, but I simply cannot conjure up any more accurate description of this thing between us. I just wanted to write it down now, so if I never experience anything this euphoric again I'll at least have some point of reference to revisit as a reminder. Whatever the future holds for you and me, I can already see that this is likely to be one of the most cherished periods I've ever known.
If you're reading this, I hope it's because our lives are joining and going forward and I've simply shared this with you as an early chapter in our history. If you're seeing this as some last-ditch attempt of mine to repair some failure in our interaction and demonstrate the sincerity and longevity of my feelings, please believe me that these feelings could not be stronger, and that I sincerely want for us to be together. If you'll recall, I had remarked to you over the past weekend that I'd only felt an initial feeling this strongly about one other person --- and that relationship ultimately left me broken hearted. The thought of experiencing that with you is rather unbearable...
yours, (and I think you already sense it),
Eddie
_______________
Eddie wrote this letter to me, sealed it in an envelope and mailed it to himself (so there would be a postmark to prove when it was sent). It remained unopened for many months. He finally gave it to me and told me to open it whenever I was feeling uncertain about him, his feelings or our relationship.
Of course, I opened it immediately - right in front of him. I never regretted that impulsive moment.
Not long after sharing this letter with me, we traveled to Minneapolis for the first time together. We celebrated Thanksgiving with people that Eddie loved.
It was during that visit that he took me on a walk around Lake Harriett. He stopped at a bridge with a lovely view of the skyline, took both of my hands, looked deeply into my eyes and told me that he was planning to marry me.
He didn't propose to me. He simply wanted me to know what his plan was.
Rider #666
June 18, 2010
9:42 AM
Lake Harriet, Minneapolis, MN
Life is good. Love is better.
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