I have noticed a couple of interesting changes in me since Eddie died. I don't really feel that they are good or bad - just different.
I'm not as empathetic as I used to be. Once the realization that Shit Simply Does Happen takes hold, you kind of take on the attitude of "oh well". I still have empathy towards kids and animals but for older humans, not so much - unless it is something really tragic like the death of a loved one or having your home blown away by an F5 tornado.
I'm not as polite as I once was. This is key since I am Southern and we don't know how to be impolite. Eddie was amazed at my ability to be polite in even the worst situations. But I have decided that sparing the feelings of total Ass Clowns has now become optional for me.
For example - there is a person who shall remain nameless who I once had a "relationship" with. At one time in the far off past, I actually found this person attractive. For the life of me, I cannot fathom why and that point gets driven home to me every time I have any interaction with him.
Apparently the stresses of work & life are getting to him - which is nothing new. Life for him is one stress point followed by another and then another. There doesn't appear to be any joy. During a recent conversation after he had gone through a litany of issues and problems he finally stopped with, "I'm just trying to live."
"Just keep breathing, that ought to do it," was my short response as I left him to count his troubles.
The old Lisa would have tried to be sympathetic and understanding. I would have offered advice. The new Lisa just thinks he is a jerk with no appreciation for the wonderful gifts he has been given.
But my politeness continues. I really wanted to punch him in the face but I thought that might be rude.
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