My apologies to my motorcyclist friends, but this blog isn’t about bikes.
I am a very a naive person. I grew up in a sheltered, comfortable, happy environment with two good parents, a bunch of siblings, a dog, a cat, a super cool bicycle and lots of friends who were just like me.
So it is difficult for me to understand the darker side of human beings. How a parent can hurt a child. How an adult can molest a child. How some people are willing to commit almost any act in order to feed an addiction.
I have been exposed to some of the world’s ugliness as I’ve aged. I’ve even become a bit cynical but luckily, I can still be shocked.
When the idea of starting Eddie’s Road first occurred to me, I was deep in my grief over Eddie’s death. The fact is, I’m still deep in the grief – I’m just better at managing it. But as overcome with sadness as I was, I was clear on what our purpose should be – Stop the Cycle of Child Abuse.
The statistics don’t lie. Victims of child abuse (whether it is physical, sexual or mental) will likely grow up to become abusers. This in no way excuses their actions. Adults are responsible for their behavior regardless of any history that may be used as an excuse.
Eddie inspired me for this very reason. He never wanted to be viewed as a victim. He never used his troubled past as an excuse for anything. He fought hard to leave his pain behind him and instead, “rebelled” by living what we would call a good life. No drugs, alcohol, violence, crime (unless you count excessive speeding). He said many times that if he messed up his life then his abusers would win. And he wasn’t about to let that happen.
And so Eddie’s Road was born to find a way to help victims of abuse find the right road through life. Just as Eddie had done.
I used to know a man who appeared “normal”. He came from a good family, was college educated, intelligent and talented. But he hid a dark side to his personality. Over the short course of our friendship the dark side became more and more apparent. Perhaps my naiveté caused it to take longer than it should have, but ultimately, I turned my back on him because I knew he lived in a place that I never wanted to visit.
I had no idea just how dark this place was until I saw in the news that he was sentenced to 17 years in federal prison for trafficking a 12-year-old girl for sex.
The girl was the daughter of his friend who had trusted him to care for her child while she was working. I’m sure this mother felt, like I had, that he was a good enough guy. Perhaps she had some intuition, like I had, that something was not quite right.
Regardless, this child’s life will always be a struggle. She may never truly recover. The statistics are against her. Addiction, mental illness, homelessness, sexual exploitation, prison, and perhaps becoming an abuser herself are all obstacles that she will more than likely encounter.
Who knows what motivated this man to commit such a horrible act against this child. I have my suspicions about his past. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that another child was victimized by an adult she trusted.
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If Eddie’s Road helps just one kid grow out of the cycle, then it will all be worth it.
But aiming low isn’t good enough.
This problem is so pervasive and overwhelming that it seems insurmountable. But to sit back and do nothing is not an option.
You can’t turn your back on it. You can’t sit in your comfortable, happy environment and think it has nothing to do with you or your children.
Our prisons are full of people who took the wrong road. Our streets are full of people who couldn’t find any road.
And our children are being abused every single day by the hundreds of thousands.
When a problem is this huge, you can only solve it one person at a time.
To see how you can help:
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