Why?

Dumaguete, Philippines

I am currently comfortably ensconced in The Leela hotel in Delhi, India.  I slept in a wonderful bed in a beautiful room.  My laundry has been picked up and will be delivered back to me in perfect condition later today.  I’ll be calling room service in a moment for my coffee and breakfast.

I have spent the last 12 days working my way around the world via the Philippines, Singapore and pretty much every major city in India.  All of this is possible because I am fortunate enough to have a great job that I love with a company that is doing well in a down market.

Our pace has been grueling and the team is worn out from all that is involved with international travel in developing countries (minus Singapore).  But no complaints  I am fortunate to be traveling with people I had never met before who are now good friends.  Not a single high maintenance whiner in the bunch.

I needed to get away from my regular life for a while and was hoping this trip would be just the ticket to help clear my mind and perhaps give me a jumping off point to enter the next phase.  The phase where I manage to put the last two years of crippling grief behind me.

But no epiphanies have occurred.  There has been no time for reflection.  There has been no opportunity to pack up all of the turmoil and neatly compartmentalize it in the back of my mind.

Instead, I have found that at least 10 times a day, I find myself asking, “Why?”

The context for the one word question has been drastically different – work related “why’s” – which I will try to get answers to when I return.  But the bigger “whys” have been much more existential.

Like why did someone decide to eat a partially formed duck egg and call it balut?  And then why did others follow suit?

Why Singapore is so sparkling clean and India is so overwhelmingly dirty?  Does it really cost that much money to be clean?

Why weren’t there any birds near our Singapore hotel?  Is that part of the clean city initiative?

Why is Jet Airways so comically inefficient?

Why aren’t Americans more warm and hospitable to strangers?  It’s not like we can’t afford to be.

Why is it wrong to point at landmarks in Singapore?

Why, with billions of rupees pouring into India every day, is there still so much mind jarring poverty?

Why is common sense so rare?

Why can't some people see the happiness that is standing right in front of them?

Why didn’t I know the Philippines would be a place I’d want to return to so I can explore every island?

Why are people afraid to leave what is familiar?  To experience the unfamiliar is the only way to grow.

And finally, why did I ever think leaving home would clear my mind of missing Eddie?  It has only made me miss him more.

“Travel is like love, mostly because it’s a heightened state of awareness, in which we are mindful, receptive, undimmed by familiarity and ready to be transformed. That is why the best trips, like the best love affairs, never really end.” — Pico Iyer