So, it's been quite a while since I've blogged here. Life so easily gets in the way of my need to write. My paying job is robbing me of my creativity but since it pays the bills, I must give it as much of my brain power as possible. And lately, it has taken a lot of that power just to keep up.
But, I still manage to use another part of my brain to contemplate all sorts of things. Love, death, politics, natural disasters, and Jake's bad skin to name a few.
And as I've pondered these things over the last month or so, I realized that they all seemed to have something in common - change.
I like change. I've always enjoyed the excitement of something new and different. I don't shy away from it like some people do. At many times in my life, I've run right into it and was always glad that I did. But I notice that as I get older, I'm not as anxious to shake things up. Some times the practicalities of life push down the desire to throw out the old and bring on the new.
But fear it? Never. Not even after Eddie died did I fear the changes that would come with him being gone. Of course, I didn't look forward to it either. I simply accepted the fact that my life was going to be different - again.
I know others though, who will endure almost anything to keep things the same. The fear of starting over paralyzes them into total inaction. And that fear leads to denial, sadness and insecurity.
For many, the fear of change is really the fear of failure.
Staying in a long term relationship regardless of the unhappiness it brings is one of those things that baffles me. Yes, I've been divorced both voluntarily and involuntarily so I feel I'm qualified to address this specific example of change fear.
No one ever gets married with the thought that they will end up divorced. It is a failure and anyone who has been through it knows exactly what I mean. Whether it was your idea or not, you feel like the biggest loser ever.
But staying in an unhealthy relationship simply because you don't want to fail at marriage or are afraid of starting over is ludicrous to me.
I am not a proponent of divorce as the cure all for what typically are the natural ups and downs of marriage. I'm talking about relationships that have moved into the unhealthy realm - when it makes you physically or mentally sick.
In those situations, change is not only good, it might just save your life.
At the end of the day, no one can fix our problems for us. You are completely alone, standing at the edge of the cliff and ultimately, it is you and you alone that takes the step that hurls you into the unknown.
But you quickly find out the change won't kill you. It brings you back to life.
In the case of Jake's skin - change was not a good thing. It is back to ostrich for him, I'm afraid. Neither one of us is happy about that.
But, I still manage to use another part of my brain to contemplate all sorts of things. Love, death, politics, natural disasters, and Jake's bad skin to name a few.
And as I've pondered these things over the last month or so, I realized that they all seemed to have something in common - change.
I like change. I've always enjoyed the excitement of something new and different. I don't shy away from it like some people do. At many times in my life, I've run right into it and was always glad that I did. But I notice that as I get older, I'm not as anxious to shake things up. Some times the practicalities of life push down the desire to throw out the old and bring on the new.
But fear it? Never. Not even after Eddie died did I fear the changes that would come with him being gone. Of course, I didn't look forward to it either. I simply accepted the fact that my life was going to be different - again.
I know others though, who will endure almost anything to keep things the same. The fear of starting over paralyzes them into total inaction. And that fear leads to denial, sadness and insecurity.
For many, the fear of change is really the fear of failure.
Staying in a long term relationship regardless of the unhappiness it brings is one of those things that baffles me. Yes, I've been divorced both voluntarily and involuntarily so I feel I'm qualified to address this specific example of change fear.
No one ever gets married with the thought that they will end up divorced. It is a failure and anyone who has been through it knows exactly what I mean. Whether it was your idea or not, you feel like the biggest loser ever.
But staying in an unhealthy relationship simply because you don't want to fail at marriage or are afraid of starting over is ludicrous to me.
I am not a proponent of divorce as the cure all for what typically are the natural ups and downs of marriage. I'm talking about relationships that have moved into the unhealthy realm - when it makes you physically or mentally sick.
In those situations, change is not only good, it might just save your life.
At the end of the day, no one can fix our problems for us. You are completely alone, standing at the edge of the cliff and ultimately, it is you and you alone that takes the step that hurls you into the unknown.
But you quickly find out the change won't kill you. It brings you back to life.
In the case of Jake's skin - change was not a good thing. It is back to ostrich for him, I'm afraid. Neither one of us is happy about that.
No comments:
Post a Comment