"Meant To Be" vs. "S&*t Happens"

I cannot count how many times I have heard people utter the phrase, "it was meant to be". I have even uttered it myself a few years ago.

It is typically used when there is no explanation for something that has happened but for whatever reason the person doing the uttering must offer some explanation for that inexplicable event.

If I have heard it once in the last ten months, I have heard it a hundred times. Every person who offered these words of encouragement (?) to me meant well. It was meant to comfort me. But each time I've heard this seemingly warm sentiment I have wanted to scream.

You see, this innocuous phrase is really all about control.

We can't control what happened so we will label it as, "it was meant to be" in order to feel better about the fact that we are not in control of everything that happens.

Which leads me to the unsavory sentiment... shit happens. It isn't pretty. You probably wouldn't embroider it on a pillow. But you know what? It makes a lot more sense to me than, "it was meant to be".

I don't believe in the notion of destiny. Hang around a casino for even a short time with a slightly open mind & you will see very quickly that every roll of the dice isn't destiny at all.

Shit happens. For absolutely no reason.

I am sure my religious friends will immediately start praying that I will see the light. The fact is, I have seen the light. It shows me reason & logic. It shows me that unpleasant things occur. And when they do, it is up to each of us to figure out what to do next.

In my case, I have chosen to turn my back on the unpleasantness of the bad decisions that led to that exact moment of Eddie's death. Instead I am focusing on changing the lives of children who have been abused and neglected by the people who are making a conscious choice about their actions.

It isn't fate, my friends. It is about choices. Every single one has the power to change your life.