How Did I Get Here?

To say I've had an unusual life is putting it mildly.

Marriage, divorce, infertility, infidelity, addiction (not me), divorce, death, LOVE, then death.. again. And through it all, I have managed to stay somewhat up beat.

Either I am mentally impaired or it is impossible to knock me down. Personally, I'm going with the former.

As I look back on my adventures in life, each step taken made perfect sense at the time. Do I suffer from terrible judgment? Maybe a few times but not totally. I've managed to build a fairly successful career and have enjoyed really happy, healthy relationships in my family, with my friends and even with my lovers.

The healthiest and happiest relationship to date? Easy... Eddie.

We found each other late in life and I always figured that was a plus. Time had mellowed each of us in ways that were needed in order to establish an unselfish partnership in which we both wanted what was truly best for the other.

We knew almost from the very start that we would be together til death do us part. We just had no idea how soon death would rip apart the wonderful love we shared.

This blog will serve a couple of purposes. Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. Since Eddie's death, I haven't been able to fit the words together. I need to exercise my brain and sort through the confusion of being a widow without being married and being alone after the happiest three and a half years of my life.

I will also use this space to share the stories of Eddie James including the journey he has taken since his death. Eddie was a well-known and influential person in the world he traveled in but to me, he was so much more.

I am a changed woman. I suppose that is obvious given the sheer magnitude of losing the love of my life in a split second. But I was changed before Eddie ran into the back of that parked van.

Sharing my innermost thoughts on the Internet is a bit presumptuous and self-indulgent. And not something I am all together comfortable with.

So we'll see where this goes. I'll start with Eddie's journey since his death and we'll see where he takes us.